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Which ‘Lost’ character would be the best babysitter?

January 26, 2009
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The other night I posed this question to my fiancée: “Quick — if you had to pick a character from ‘Lost’ to babysit our (as yet unborn) children, who would it be?”

Her answer: “Sawyer!”

I don’t know what’s more disturbing — that she picked one of the show’s homicidal con men, or that I completely agreed with her.

Here’s my reasoning…


Sawyer’s prone to moments of selflessness — like when he jumped out of the helicopter to save The Oceanic Six, or when he swam through a sea of gunfire (rivaling the A-Team in the “how the eff did he not get hit even once?” category in the process) to pull Claire out of a bazooka-felled building.

He’s also good at carrying babies — like when he ran through the jungle carrying Aaron.

Lastly, he’d probably come up with about 10 nickname ideas for the kid by the time we got home.

Here are the people I definitely wouldn’t let watch my kid:

Jack – Medical credentials are a plus, but he’d probably empty out all our pain medication and drop the baby while stumbling around.

Ben – Super creepy to begin with and not good with children during hostage situations.

Kate – Always on the run. Would probably abandon the kid before we got home.

Locke – Kind of looks like my grandpa, but has a bad habit of ponying up internal organs.

Juliette – Uh, hello? She was the No. 2 for a tribe of baby stealing whackos. I’d be better off leaving the kid with the cops from “Changeling.”

Who would you choose to watch your kid?

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